no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
