I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
ok first of all what the fuck
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
