All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
