I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
