only if we run a train.
done.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
