btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
