I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
