Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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