Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize