listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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