she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
