It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
