Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
