i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
