i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
