Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
false alarm. still invincible.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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