I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
