Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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