Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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