ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
