You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
