I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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