i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
