pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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