No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
