You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Your tits are I can't wait for
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize