shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
