he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
