I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
