Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
