we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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