Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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