i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
