Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
