My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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