but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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