i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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