So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
