You work out of a Hotel?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
