And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
