Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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