You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
