I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
