My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
