she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
