It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize