Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
