I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he was CRYING into my vagina
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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