I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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