you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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