So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
