You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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