y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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