...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
