I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
