ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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