I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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