Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
