Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
