I hate all girls vehemently.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
