She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
