And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
