Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
