Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
